Last summer I took part in an intense personal growth program in New York City. At the end of the program, I’d come to several (at the time shocking) realizations about myself:
1) I follow the rules. I always follow the rules. Sadly I would do this even if they went against my deepest truths. I followed rules, did the homework, and followed the leader even if it meant making myself sick.
2) In some twisted kind of irony, I also held a deep fear that my efforts to help and heal people would actually hurt them. Yikes. I’m still unpacking that bad boy.
3) And lastly, I realized that I held in high regard all the various tools and beliefs we can use to grow and transform - more than ever.
Holding these realizations close to me, and still reeling from the three-day, 8-10, sleep-deprived, and tearful experiences, I was invited to participate in the advanced version of what we’d just completed in a few weeks from then.
I expressed to a few people that I might be interested in taking that course at a later date, but at the moment…I was fine. There were things I wanted to do. A family I wanted to build. Books to write. And a bank account that needed to recover from staying in NYC for a week.
My decline to immediately sign up for the advanced course was met with hostility. In the eyes of the program support team, I was halting my own progress, procrastinating, and failing to commit. By the rules of this program, if there’s something you want to do, you must do it right now.
In my experience, I was standing up for something that I truly believe in: divine timing.
Things happen when they’re ready to happen. Rushing, forcing, committing when you don’t really feel it - those are affronts to your intuition, and I believe they actually make life more difficult.
If we ignore our intuitions and do everything in the moment that it occurs to us, I believe we'd find more walls that needed climbing than ever before. And that’s because life is meant to be lived. Not conquered. Not brutalized with sheer force of will.
Let me be clear - if you feel in your heart that you’re supposed to do something, and do it now, then for the love of kittens do the thing!
But if you feel hesitation, examine it. If you’re chickening out, well, you might need to push yourself to commit. But if your heart is really saying: Wait. Wait a moment. This time will come. Then pause, and trust your inner compass.
Not all hesitation is procrastination. And there’s no such thing as being lazy.
There’s only ready, and not-ready.
I’d like to share an analogy with you that I received courtesy of some pretty cool guides.
Some flowers bloom in a day, others take a whole season. Staring laser-beams at the flowers that need to ripen won’t make them open any faster. When divine timing says, “wait, pause,” that doesn’t mean you need sit on your hands. You can tend to the flower, add nutrients to the soil, keep it watered, keep it in the sun, and learn from the experience of not-ready.
You’ll know when the time is right because you’ll see and feel the unfolding.