As a kid I felt a deep connection to the Earth and to the more Spiritual side of life, but it wasn’t until I entered my teens that things started to take a strange turn. When I was about 13, I began to hear voices.
In those years I would hear people talking when I was alone in my room. Lots of people. I would see faces. Some of them were scary, others normal. At one point, I heard a man’s voice screaming at me as I was about to get into the shower. And that’s when I thought I might be schizophrenic. I lived in fear of hearing him scream at me again.
I would have dreams that were premonitions of rare astrological and meteorological events. I would get panic attacks in public places that forced me to leave the area I was in so that I could calm down and try to figure out what was happening. I saw orbs. I felt followed. Ultimately I chickened out of turning myself in to the school guidance counselor. I told myself “crazy people don’t know they’re crazy...so I guess I’m not crazy.”
All of these things - the voices, the dreams, the visions - they still happen, but with the benefit of my knowing how, and why. I was seeing, hearing, and feeling the presence of Spirits.
I didn’t know what a Medium was back then. I don’t think I really knew or understood until only a few years ago. All I knew was that I was waiting. Something was going to come of this. But not for a while. And I was right.
In college the strange panic attacks continued. Sensing other’s energies was second-nature, and not something I realized I was doing. Spirit activity was also slowly starting to pick up around me, and some of it wasn’t the good kind.
In college I had a run-in with what many Mediums call a low-vibration Entity. It stalked me, and I felt it trying to attack me about once a month. For years it would take up “residence” in underused parts of the different homes and apartments I lived in, and it was also in my dreams. I was particularly vulnerable when I slept alone. It was terrifying. And instead of doing something about it, I told myself it was probably nothing, all the time believing deep down that it was something bad.
Fast forward a little bit, to another important event:
At the same time, my own abilities to sense things and get messages had picked up to a point where there was a big bad shakeup about to happen in my life, and I knew what it was. I knew it was happening. But the circumstances of this event where such that for all my feeling and knowing and dreading, it happened anyway. It’s probable that it was supposed to happen - I don’t know, I try not to go down that rabbit hole too often, but the result was that I got angry. Being blindsided is one thing. But knowing that disaster is about to happen, and still getting stuck in the storm? That hurt.
I started closing the door on my abilities.
Remember that Entity I was talking about? What this Entity did is a story for another time - I bring it up now just to let you know that something very bad happened.
And that was the last straw for me. I locked the door that I had already closed, out of fear that it might one day happen again.
(Continued in Part 2: Peeking Through the Keyhole)