A spiritual journey is not always a series of leaps and bounds to higher and higher states of consciousness. Sometimes you find yourself at a wall in which there is no door. If you had your chalk (a la Beetlejuice), you could draw yourself a door and step through, but you’ve forgotten your chalk somewhere back on the path. That wall isn’t letting you through until you go back and get it.
Going back feels like defeat though. So much lost time. You already walked this path, why should you have to double back and do it again?
Because straight lines are exceedingly rare. Staircases are misleading. Progress and growth are messy. So quit standing there whining at the wall, wishing it would just be gone, and turn the hell around. Walk back. Look at all the things that you marked as successes and know that you’ll see them again – and that’s just fine.
Now, about that chalk. It’s going to be different for everyone. Some of us will have to sit through a lesson a second or third time. We may have to put our feet back into the footprints we thought were in the past. We may have to take things apart, and put them back together – or…not.
As someone who identifies very strongly with The Magician, I love to create. I hate undoing. The thought of taking things apart without a glimmer of knowing what they might become frightens me. But many people know that there are those of us who delight in taking things apart just to see how they work, how they tick, with no intention of putting them to rights.
I believe that there will be times when we have to embrace our opposite natures if we want to really learn and understand something. I, personally, may need to take something apart and look at the disparate pieces and not touch them – because I need to see things from the other side.
Maybe you are being asked to do something similar.
How can you overcome a challenge with only half of your heart resonating with the solution?
The point is…whether we believe it or not, we missed something the first time around.
Try not to sulk because you should be past this wall by now. Because no. You shouldn’t.
Try to be happy that you’re about to learn something new.